Valentine's Day Rant

Let me start off by saying this is NOT a rant about how dumb Valentine's Day is.....nor is it a rant about how much love sucks.  

I also should give a disclaimer that this post may step on toes, including my own.... 

With that being said.....let the cupid shuffle begin. 

Given that it is Valentine's Day I thought I would dedicate a post to Love.  Something few of us know anything at all about. In today's culture we're fed with sex, lust, treating love as a game.....never a depiction of what true love is and how relationships are supposed to work.  I am the first to admit I DVR The Bachelor and Jersey Shore, but I'm not really proud of it.  When I watch these, most of the show I'm thinking about what they fill our heads with.  I also think of the many conversations I have each week with various people about "i want that boy" or "if only I had a boyfriend" and so forth. This idea of love and relationships saturates our culture and yet we have such a distorted view of what it is really all about. 

God has definitely laid on my heart the past few months to really take a look at how I see relationships and has been working on my heart to better understand His desires for me.  I still think all the time how I'd love to meet a boy and fall in love, but I'm slowly beginning to see that my desires are screwed up and that God's desire is much greater.  In a sermon several months ago my pastor made a point that we thrive most when we operate not according to our desire, but according to our design.  Until we understand that God has a greater plan and has designed us in His image, to love as he loves, then we will never truly be satisfied even if we do find that significant other we think is "the one."  As girls we seek guys to fill that empty place in our hearts, and guys seek girls to do the same.  But this is the first problem with our distorted view.  That empty place in our heart can only be satisfied with what our heart truly craves....to end that separation with God and fill it with the greatest love....and that is a relationship with Christ.  If we don't have that, the other relationship won't be satisfying, we'll still be searching for something more.  We can't find in a guy (or girl) what we should find in God.  

The rest of this post is more directed at how we, as girls, see things.   I fell in love with a line from a song a few weeks ago...."you are treasured, you are sacred, you are His".....from Mercy Me's song, "Beautiful." (This whole song is awesome....listen to the lyrics intently) What if we really took this to heart and understood the truth in this line.  So often I talk to girls who are seeking guys to make them happy.  We overanalyze everything that happens between us and the opposite sex, we are willing to alter our schedules and plans to perhaps have a chance with him, and we let envy get the best of us when we see other people in relationships. I am guilty of all three of these at some point or another.  But I also have a strong desire to let girls know that this isn't how it's meant to be.  No guy will love and treasure you as much as Christ.  If we could just come to understand that we deserve to be treated as the precious bride's of Christ. Guys are supposed to pursue us, not us chase after them. Guys are supposed to be spiritual leaders, leading us to Christ, not the bedroom.  Relationships are to be founded on a love for God, a love for each other, trust, acceptance, and intimacy....they're not to be founded on lust, selfish desires, and one night at the bar.  

Just a side note---I titled this a rant, but I don't want it to seem like I think there's no hope in the relationship field today.  I, myself, am very encouraged by Kelley and her fiancé's (we'll call him Mack) relationships.  Their engagement came from their growing relationship which came from their friendship which came from them both pursuing Christ.  They place their love for God above and beyond their love for each other and let that love build their relationship.  I'm sure they'll both tell you they have their difficulties and struggles, but by building their relationship on their love for the Lord I have no doubt their relationship will be one to last a lifetime. (and I can't wait for their wedding day May 21st :))  It's amazing to see how happy they are together and how much trust they put in God guiding their relationship.  I barely even know Mr. Mack at all, but his love for LK reflects the love Christ has for us, the way true love is meant to be.    

As I said earlier, the media fills us with wrong ideas about relationships....and whether they influence us or we've influenced the media...the fact is that relationships we see on tv are based on the physical and shallow terms of relationships.  I watch as Brad constantly says his infamous phrase "just come here and let me kiss you" and I catch myself wondering just how many young girls sit there watching and wishing they could have a guy like that.  But how shallow is this--there's never any real substance to the conversation and certainly never any discussion of beliefs.  How often do our relationships begin the same way though?? Randomly meet and have small talk, end up kissing because we think that's the best way to tell if there's anything there, people stay over, "i love yous" are said long before there's depth to the relationship, and then what happens---they fall apart.  And then there's the Shore, where they bring people home every night....the guys go out intentionally looking for girls to bring to the "Smush Room." They're always looking for the next hook-up.  I could dedicate an entire book to how we, females especially, disrespect ourselves.  As I said though, I don't want to get on the sex topic because I think it is outside the realm of a blog.  But would love to talk. 

With all this being said I want to be the first to admit that I am guilty of this worldly, distorted view of relationships.  I in no way am judging anyone so please please please don't see it that way.  I sincerely believe God created us to be in relationships and has desires for these that are much more fulfilling than any we could have for ourselves. I want to encourage you not to hate today and obsess over the fact you don't have a boyfriend.  Instead, take time to think about what love really means and what God desires for you.  Instead of obsessing over a guy remember how much God obsesses over you.  If you haven't read the book Redeeming Love I strongly suggest it.  It is a long one...but one that you won't be able to put down.   

Now, Happy Valentine's Day!  Love is more than the flower, candy, cards, and cheesy statuses that you're giving and receiving or not. If you don't have a significant other today take it as an opportunity to be thankful for the love you share with friends and family (cheesy, I know, but true.)